Is it okay to be angry at God?
The last two days have been hard. There have been quite a few stressful moments and I have been so overwhelmed. Emotions of all kinds have flowed, along side tears.
When disappointments hit, sometimes worshiping God is the last thing I want to do. If I’m complaining to Him and He interrupts me and asks me to worship, I will often snap back and say, “No! It’s not fair!” and I shake my fist at God and continue yell and pout.
In my childhood culture, I was taught to always have a good attitude, no matter what. We always had to be happy and joyful and thankful and pretend all was perfect. We could never get angry or sad; depressed or disappointed. And we certainly could NEVER take our anger out at God.
But life isn’t all happy and perfect. Not at all. Yes, the Bible says to rejoice and be thankful, but it also says to weep with those who weep. The Psalms are full of angry, distraught, and depressing poems, so why in the world do we think those emotions are not appropriate?
I don’t think Jesus ever wanted us to deny our true feelings. I also don’t believe He ever rebukes us when throw out our doubts and questions toward Him. What He does ask of us, is to simply come to Him. With all our mess. With all our emotions. With all our anger. With all our brokenness.
So when #alltheemotions are flowing and I decide to indulge for a few minutes in a self pity party and throw my anger toward God, what do I finally choose to do when He asks me to worship?
I worship anyway.
I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to. But I flip on my worship playlist and I begin to sing and dance as a simple act of obedience.
And before I can even realize it, somehow, my worries seem to disappear with each note, each swift step of my feet. Suddenly all that matters is Jesus. I can sense His presence and remember His promises to me. And before I know it, my heart is usually filled with thankfulness.
I come to Him and worship, even though my heart isn’t in it, even though I have a sour attitude. And Jesus takes my simple act of obedience and He softens my heart toward Him. I can’t change my heart and attitude — only He can. Jesus doesn’t often take away my disappointments, but He does give me new perspective. And with that new perspective I can rest with renewed peace, joy, and hope.
One of my new favorite songs contains this powerful line:
“You taught my feet to dance
Upon disappointment and I
I will worship”
So, dear friend, turn on that worship playlist and dance upon your disappointments and trust Jesus to do the rest!!